


Now I Can Breathe, Turn My Insides Out and Smother Me.

by scruffylou



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: FLUFFFFFF, Fluff, I'm sorry!, Insecure Michael, M/M, Mashton, Short, Short One Shot, Tour Bus, barely any calum or luke, basically michael is feeling self-conscious and ashton wants to make him feel better, but i didn't because i'm trying to be good, comforting ashton, fluffy fluff, i like this one though, i really wanted to add smut, maybe i will make a smutty sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 01:24:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2563073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scruffylou/pseuds/scruffylou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title is from "Smother Me," by the Used.</p><p>This is so short, but it was just a sweet little thing I thought of, and I haven't written this ship so I thought I'd give it a try.  I don't actually know if Michael is self-conscious about his body.  I hope he isn't, but if he is, I hope that a lot of people tell him he's beautiful.  Enjoy! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now I Can Breathe, Turn My Insides Out and Smother Me.

Of all the members of 5 Seconds of Summer, Michael was the one most prone to sadness.  He couldn’t help it, he was just very emotional.  Behind all the sarcasm and smirking, things got to him.  He experienced every emotion fully and completely, like a wall of bricks crumbling and falling over him and he didn't know how to avoid it.  

Sometimes this was good, like the time the boys got surprised on a radio show with a box of kittens. Michael had been the most excited of them all.  He was elated.  And when something good happened to one of his friends or a fan did something really special for him, he got really happy.  Happier than anyone else.

But then there were the bad times.  Times when something someone wrote online hurt his feelings and made him curl up in his bunk for hours. Or when one of his bandmates or a girl or someone in his family hurt his feelings.  He really took it all to heart because he cared so deeply about everything.

This particular night, he had gotten off stage, smiled half-heartedly at the other boys and high-fived them, and then made his way back to the bus quietly.  He hadn’t bothered to wait for anyone else.  Calum and Luke were preoccupied talking about some girl that had been in the front row and what food they wanted to order from room service and what they were going to do on their day off the next weekend.  But Ashton had noticed Michael slip out and he was worried.  Ashton was definitely the dad of the group, and he’d sensed that Michael was sad all day.  He looked over at Luke and Calum laughing on the couch, deep in conversation, and figured now was a good time to follow Michael.  It didn’t seem like Cal and Luke planned on coming back to the bus any time soon.

“Guys, I’m gonna go check on Michael,” he announced, already on his way out.  They both waved and told him they’d see him later.  Ashton walked down the empty hallway alone, and nobody stopped him from slipping out the heavy, metal back doors.  Thankfully, no one had left the concert to try to wait outside their bus yet and Ashton made it to the door without being asked for a picture or a hello.  It was dark and cool outside and he could hear the screams coming from inside the stadium when One Direction began playing.  

He pulled open the door of the bus and walked up the stairs and into the little common room.  No one was there and he couldn’t hear any noise coming from the back either.  He walked down the little aisle way towards the bunk area and tried to make a little more noise than normal because he didn’t wanna scare Michael if he was lying back there.  When he reached the four bunks, two stacked on each side, Michael’s curtain was closed just like he’d suspected it’d be.

Ashton leaned down to the level of the curtain, but he didn’t pull it back.  “Michael?” he said quietly.  It was silent for a second and then Michael made a sniffling sound.

“Yeah?” he answered back, just as quietly.  Ashton could tell he’d been crying and he was trying to keep his voice steady.

“You okay, Mikey?” he asked through the curtain, into the small, dark space of the bunk.

“‘M fine, Ash,” Michael answered shakily.  His tone suggested he didn’t wanna talk about it, but Ashton wasn’t gonna let him get off that easy.  He bent down next to the bunk and pulled back the curtain a little.  Michael was facing the wall with his arms wrapped around himself and his legs curled up protectively.  Ashton reached his hand out slowly and wrapped his long fingers over Michael’s shoulder, running his thumb back and forth softly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked and squeezed Michael’s shoulder.

Michael reached his hand up and put it on top of Ashton’s, just held it there like he wanted to touch him, or thank him for caring or something.  “I just…can you stay here for a little bit?  Just lay with me?” His voice cracked over the last bit and he turned his head into his pillow.  His cheeks were burning with embarrassment at how pathetic he thought he sounded, but he needed someone close and Ashton was there and…

Ashton smiled softly and pulled back the curtain a little more so he could climb in behind Michael.  It was a tight fit, because they were both so tall and broad, but he pressed up against Michael’s back and shut the curtain behind him.  Ashton wrapped one arm over Michael’s middle and began rubbing slow patterns over his stomach, trying to be soothing.

Michael reached down and moved his hand up so that it was on his chest instead of his stomach.  “Sorry,” Ashton muttered, feeling like he’d done something wrong.  He pushed his foot in between Michael’s ankles and nuzzled his nose into the hair at the back of Michael’s neck.

“No…it’s….I’m sorry.  I just…” Michael trailed off and his quiet words evaporated into the heavy, warm air of the little space they were crowded into.

“What is it?” Ashton asked against Michael’s skin.  Michael shivered.  He pushed back a little into Ashton so that he was as close as he could be and he covered his eyes with his hand, pushing on them until he saw colorful patterns behind his eyelids.  He sighed loudly and continued what he'd been trying to say.

“I just saw this stupid tag online today.  And it was chubbymichael.  And people were talking about how cute it is that I don’t have a flat stomach and talking about my pudge and stuff and I know they were trying to be cute or whatever, but it’s really, REALLY getting to me.  I just know I don’t look like you guys and like…that hurts sometimes.”  Michael let all of it out in a huge exhale and took a deep breath when he was done.  He was pushing even harder on his eyelids now and tapping his foot against Ashton’s, full of anxious, upset energy.

Ashton pulled him tight against himself and moved his hand up to Michael’s wrist.  He pulled Michael’s hand away from his eyes and held it.  “Michael don’t do this to yourself.”

Michael just shook his head, but he didn’t let go of Ashton’s hand.  He didn’t like feeling this way and he didn’t want anyone to feel bad for him, especially Ashton.  He just hated all the negativity online sometimes.

“Can I tell you something, Michael?” Ashton asked quietly as he moved his thumb back and forth across Michael’s knuckles.

Michael nodded and closed his eyes.

“Of everyone in the band…I think you’re the most beautiful.”

Michael let out a little snort and a chuckle and shook his head.

“Michael, I’m not kidding.  You’re right, you don’t look like any of us, but that’s a great thing.  You have these huge, bright eyes that are so expressive and those long eyelashes that make everyone think that you’re flirting with them.”  Michael smiled into the dark as Ashton continued.  “And your hair is like art.  Messy and poking out in every different direction and always a different color.  It’s colorful, like you.  It makes people smile, like you.”  Michael squeezed Ashton’s hand appreciatively.

“And your body is wonderful Michael.  You’re tall and broad and you have the cutest hands of all of us.  Mine are fucking scary.  Yours are adorable.”  Michael giggled a little and Ashton smiled because he knew his words were working.  He slipped his hand from Michael’s and laid it on his shoulder again, pushing a little to get Michael to turn over onto his back.  Ashton moved so that he was half on top of Michael, his arms holding him up on either side of Michael’s head for support.

Michael suddenly felt his cheeks getting hot.  All of the compliments were really helping, but they were making him feel embarrassed and something else that he wasn’t quite familiar with.  At least not when it came to Ashton.  Ashton was hovering above him, maybe a foot from his face.  It was dark, but Michael could still see his eyes and the curls falling down around his face and the fond smile that played over his lips.  Michael wanted to look away, but he couldn’t help staring back, lips slightly parted and breath caught in his throat.

“You know what else is beautiful about you, Mikey?” Ashton said, voice low and almost a whisper.

Michael’s cheeks were on fire now and it was all he could do to not look away or close his eyes, but instead he just said, “What?”

Ashton lifted a hand up and traced over Michael’s lips with one of his fingertips, painfully slow and so soft that Michael questioned if he was imagining it for a second.  He was holding his breath as Ashton moved closer.  “Your lips,” he whispered.  Michael inhaled sharply and then Ashton’s finger was dragging off of his bottom lip, but it was replaced with Ashton’s lips against his.  He kissed Michael slowly, but deeply.  He wasn’t tentative; it felt like he’d thought about doing this.  His hand was on the side of Michael’s face now, and at first Michael had been frozen, numb from the shock of what was happening.  But as Ashton’s pinky finger ran over Michael’s jaw bone, something in him clicked and he started to kiss back.  Their lips moved together like they’d done this a million times and Michael’s skin was tingling.  He felt like he was on fire, like this kiss was healing everything in him.

He grabbed the front of Ashton’s shirt and pulled him closer, and that made Ashton smile into the kiss.  His smooth lips rubbed over Michael’s chapped ones and the sensation made Michael want more.  He ran his tongue along Ashton’s bottom lip and when Ashton parted his lips a little, Michael pushed it in, licking into Ashton’s mouth.  Ashton moved his hand to Michael’s hair and pulled a little on the bright red strands and Michael made a sound like a whimper in the back of his throat for Ashton to swallow as they kept kissing.

Suddenly the door to the bus swung open and a set of footsteps and Calum’s loud laughter warned them that the boys were back for the night.  Ashton pulled away slowly, still hovering over Michael, smirking a little.  Michael’s eyes were warm and a small smile lit up his face.  He looked shy, unsure, but definitely happy.  Ashton whispered as quietly as he could, quickly so that the other boys wouldn’t hear, “Don’t ever believe that you’re not beautiful again.  I have to look at your fucking lips all the time, and…” he smiled, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

Michael was beaming and he leaned up a little to press a short kiss to the corner of Ashton’s lips.  “Thanks, Ash.  Love you.”

“I love you too.  We all do.  Now let’s go get some food or something,” Ashton grinned and hoisted himself up off of Michael, pulling the curtain back and letting in the light.  They climbed out of the bunk and joined the other two boys in the front of the bus. They ate and laughed and talked together like normal, the only difference being that Michael had almost forgotten about the twitter trend from earlier, and he couldn’t stop staring at Ashton’s mouth and smiling mischievously when he caught him looking.

 


End file.
